Grief, Without Hatred

You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris (Penguin Press hardcover, 25 October 2016).

Almost a year ago, there were a series of terrorist attacks on public spaces in Paris.  Of the nearly 200 souls who were killed, 90 were at a  rock concert at the Bataclan Theatre.

One of those 90 was Hélène Muyal, who was survived by her husband Antoine Leiris and their 17-month-old son Melvil.  

Leiris' open letter to the terrorists (posted on Facebook), in which he declares that he will not give the terrorists the gift of hating them, went viral and was covered by news media around the world.  

In this slim volume, Leiris shares their story, beginning with the evening of the attacks as he waited anxiously at home to hear from his wife.  He describes the painful process of going to the morgue to identify the body, and the difficulty of explaining to Melvil why his mother would not be coming home.

While parts of the grieving process are universal, there is also the deeply personal aspect of grief unique to every individual.  Most readers can easily identify with the former, though may struggle with the almost stream-of-consciousness expression of his own devastation.

The convictions Leiris expresses here are important ones, especially in these days of animosity and antagonism.  Reading this book may not make us all emulate him, but a portal to tolerance may be cracked open.

FTC Full Disclosure:  Many thanks to the publisher for providing me with a review copy of this book.

"A Memoir of Finding Love at Last"

Romance is My Day Job by Patience Bloom (Dutton hardcover, 6 February 2014).

Patience Smith discovered romance novels as a sophomore in high school. Not too young and naive to realize that they're generally not realistic, she nevertheless imagines herself as the heroine, and her crush-of-the-moment as the well-endowed (whatever that means!) hero. 

After a relationship with a Bad Boy in her second year at Oberlin, she escapes to do her junior year at SUNY in Paris, deciding to avoid relationships while she's there.

Once she returns, still reading romances, her relationships are nothing like those in the books (or her fantasies).  She graduates, spends a few years doing temp work, but eventually gets a job teaching French in Albuquerque.  She lives there for several years, until she realizes that's not how she wants to spend her life, and moves back in with her parents in New Jersey.

After sending her resume to every New York publishing house she can think of, she finally gets a temp job doing publiciity at Simon and Schuster, though she knows it's not her ultimate goal.  She hasn't been there for long when she gets a call from Harlequin asking her to temp for them.  Thankfully, it's not in publicity, but even though she's only working as an editorial assistant, she knows this is where she wants to be, and eventually gets a permanent position there. 

Though she moves up the ladder and meets some of the authors she's idolized for years her own love life is going nowhere.  Out of the blue, she gets a Facebook message from Sam, an old friend from high school, and she thinks they may have A Connection. 

Though it reads like fiction, this is a charming memoir about a woman who, despite having a job laden with romance, has almost giving up on finding true love herself, but takes a leap of faith that proves worthwhile.  For those of us who found  Prince Charming later in life, though our circumstances were probably very different, it feels somewhat familiar.

This is the perfect book to dive into on Valentine's Day, whether you are in a relationship  or not.  
If you're not, it will give you hope. 
And those of us who (like Patience) found Prince Charming later in life will definitely feel  sense of kinship with her.

Image credit: studiobarcelona / 123RF Stock Photo

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